Ah, Liz. Every single word. Can't begin to say how precisely All Those Things. (like Jessica, like so many of us). It is beyond gobsmacking that there's this thing we do, we throw our entire heart and soul into supporting the full (enough) development of a human being, whom we would do anything for; anything to protect; anything at all. And then the finest sign of success is that they leave, as effortlessly as possible! Simply take flight and are... well. Not entirely gone. But my daughter is heading for your town tomorrow, for the beginning of her sophomore year, and the ache is still unfathomable. (And you KNOW how far away I am from Brooklyn.)
Just: love to those two shaky hands; may she fly unfettered and may the wind be under her wings; may you get signs that she is really-and-truly okay; may you all find your way.
Thank you for sharing this. All of it. And mazel tov to all of y'all, while I'm at it.
My kids are 6 and 4 and I always hear how fast it’s going to pass. Of course it never feels that way in the hard moments but looking back it feels like they were both babies just yesterday. Sending you love as you deal with this hard transition!
If you need something to plan, might a suggest a little beginners guide to not living with A Mom. A quick list, a notebook whatever you have time for.
I had dial up and Ask Jeeves when I went to college, so it is probably easier with smart phones and Google. But I have a distinct memory of my roommates and I staring at each wondering how you knew if chicken had gone bad and would kill you. Or what temperature you were suppose to set the thermostat to at night.
Re-reading the previous post and then this one was such a good idea. It made me feel less alone! Mine is sticking around home a while longer, but I am thinking and feeling all these things. It really does all boil down to, "OMG BUT HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE."
Beautiful essay, Liz! We just dropped our older daughter off for sophomore year at Syracuse, and our younger daughter is a high school senior so we’ll be back on the college application roller coaster 🎢 in the coming weeks and months.
I found that with our older daughter, I did so much anticipatory grieving that the actual drop off wasn’t as hard as I had feared. Plus she was so happy and excited, which helped a great deal. The parent Facebook pages are good for a laugh if you can tolerate them...talk about 🚁 parents!
Hang in there, Liz - big hugs to you, and thank you for verbalizing what so many of us are feeling right now 💗
I have sworn many times over the years that you can read what’s in my mind. Our kids are very close in age and I’ve followed since the yearly days. Once again you nailed my feelings. My oldest moved back to campus to start their 2nd year last week. In their own apartment for the first time. It’s the same as last year with the dorm, but so different too. My youngest is starting his senior year. I’m being hit with all the feelings all the time! I know they have it- but a part of me wishes their wings weren’t so ready to fly.
Liz we dropped our oldest off for her sophomore year a few days ago. It was a much different experience than her freshman year. It was so hard to leave then… my younger daughter and I burst out crying and we were both misty for about a week. Then we got used to it, but still missed her deeply… and she went to college in Brooklyn (we’re about an hour away). You’re right, it’s a rite of passage and the beginning of the rest of their lives… but I can’t say I don’t miss my little girl nearly every second. Her empty room kills me a little each day. I’ll stop being a drama queen now.
Sending you hugs. It’s a hard thing to go from taking care of so much for them and then now they are on their own. When they turn 18 and the doctors won’t let you make appointments for them anymore. It’s hard to cut the apron strings.
I have no advice, no words of wisdom, nothing. A photo of my only's move in day popped up yesterday. She graduated last spring, and now is working her dream job. I can only sit with everyone and share the moments.
Ah, Liz. Every single word. Can't begin to say how precisely All Those Things. (like Jessica, like so many of us). It is beyond gobsmacking that there's this thing we do, we throw our entire heart and soul into supporting the full (enough) development of a human being, whom we would do anything for; anything to protect; anything at all. And then the finest sign of success is that they leave, as effortlessly as possible! Simply take flight and are... well. Not entirely gone. But my daughter is heading for your town tomorrow, for the beginning of her sophomore year, and the ache is still unfathomable. (And you KNOW how far away I am from Brooklyn.)
Just: love to those two shaky hands; may she fly unfettered and may the wind be under her wings; may you get signs that she is really-and-truly okay; may you all find your way.
Thank you for sharing this. All of it. And mazel tov to all of y'all, while I'm at it.
My kids are 6 and 4 and I always hear how fast it’s going to pass. Of course it never feels that way in the hard moments but looking back it feels like they were both babies just yesterday. Sending you love as you deal with this hard transition!
I feel seen!
Such beautiful writing. An evocative essay far better a keepsake from this nerve-jangled time than a photo could ever be.
I am here for you, girl. #year2
I’m a year behind you and I CANNOT! Hugs and hugs and more hugs to you.
I loved this.
If you need something to plan, might a suggest a little beginners guide to not living with A Mom. A quick list, a notebook whatever you have time for.
I had dial up and Ask Jeeves when I went to college, so it is probably easier with smart phones and Google. But I have a distinct memory of my roommates and I staring at each wondering how you knew if chicken had gone bad and would kill you. Or what temperature you were suppose to set the thermostat to at night.
Thalia will be like her mom. A special student who is wonderful to have in class. Go terriers.
Re-reading the previous post and then this one was such a good idea. It made me feel less alone! Mine is sticking around home a while longer, but I am thinking and feeling all these things. It really does all boil down to, "OMG BUT HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE."
Beautiful essay, Liz! We just dropped our older daughter off for sophomore year at Syracuse, and our younger daughter is a high school senior so we’ll be back on the college application roller coaster 🎢 in the coming weeks and months.
I found that with our older daughter, I did so much anticipatory grieving that the actual drop off wasn’t as hard as I had feared. Plus she was so happy and excited, which helped a great deal. The parent Facebook pages are good for a laugh if you can tolerate them...talk about 🚁 parents!
Hang in there, Liz - big hugs to you, and thank you for verbalizing what so many of us are feeling right now 💗
I have sworn many times over the years that you can read what’s in my mind. Our kids are very close in age and I’ve followed since the yearly days. Once again you nailed my feelings. My oldest moved back to campus to start their 2nd year last week. In their own apartment for the first time. It’s the same as last year with the dorm, but so different too. My youngest is starting his senior year. I’m being hit with all the feelings all the time! I know they have it- but a part of me wishes their wings weren’t so ready to fly.
Liz we dropped our oldest off for her sophomore year a few days ago. It was a much different experience than her freshman year. It was so hard to leave then… my younger daughter and I burst out crying and we were both misty for about a week. Then we got used to it, but still missed her deeply… and she went to college in Brooklyn (we’re about an hour away). You’re right, it’s a rite of passage and the beginning of the rest of their lives… but I can’t say I don’t miss my little girl nearly every second. Her empty room kills me a little each day. I’ll stop being a drama queen now.
Sending you hugs. It’s a hard thing to go from taking care of so much for them and then now they are on their own. When they turn 18 and the doctors won’t let you make appointments for them anymore. It’s hard to cut the apron strings.
Loved reading your post, the same feelings I had when my daughter went to the army
I have no advice, no words of wisdom, nothing. A photo of my only's move in day popped up yesterday. She graduated last spring, and now is working her dream job. I can only sit with everyone and share the moments.