23 Comments

LOL! i'm not sure how insulted i should be, haha! being 40+ myself i would hope that people don't see me this way, 🤪. they should really fix that.

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

I'm 53. I got carded buying wine at Publix last week. So... yeah.... I don't see myself that way, and apparently neither did the cashier. I'm gonna ride that high of being asked for ID because I looked "under 30" for weeks. 😂

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author

I get it! I got carded a few months back and was like...really? Wow! Then I had to think about why I was so happy about that. (Also, no apologies or excuses for being happy about it. It's just how I felt and I own that.)

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OMG - LEAVING IT AT THAT, LIZ!

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That's kind of where I am too!

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

oy vey

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

Wow, so convenient--it’s like the people* in charge are like Goldilocks, except there’s never an age at which women are “just right,” unless it’s maybe a single afternoon in April when they’re 38 or something. Fuck me.

(*And yes, it’s definitely “people,” and not “men,” since we have more than ample evidence of women enthusiastically endorsing the misogynist agenda.)

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author

100% agree Cynthia and thanks for making that point. Societal biases are ingrained in all of us and we have to work extra hard to overcome them -- especially when we don't think we have them.

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

Well then, I guess I look like an infant at 54? 🤨 I pause at the discrimination re: “impending menopause” but honestly, it does make me unpredictable in not fun ways.

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author

I almost worked for a guy who was famous for throwing chairs, screaming at people until they cried, and lighting writers' work on fire if he thought it wasn't good enough. What was his excuse? I don't think it was menopause.

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

Holy entitled cry for help he’ll never access, no. Not that. And it is fascinating [ie misogynistic] that no one would ever categorize that as worse than a ‘moody’ woman. 😒

My unpredictability is occasional rage that unleashes in the shower away from others but mainly I cry about injustice. Or anything that reminds me of my kids. So, everything.

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

We call that man-opause in my house, because holy hell he's worse than I am some days. 😬

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

Algorithms are such a fraught issue! Age discrimination is complex too because it seems like, especially in some industries, you’re only the “right” age for 10 minutes if that. I’m about to turn 41 and still I’m young in my field and I look even younger. That means I just don’t get taken as seriously and my authority isn’t as respected. But if I were to look my age, then I’d get discounted for that! A no-win situation for sure. On top of which, I’m not even a woman (nonbinary) but I’m assumed to be one so the same stereotypes and expectations are placed on me.

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Amy, thanks for sharing that. You are restating exactly what the research found -- under 40, problematic. Over 40, problematic. I would love to see research on nonbinary people in the workforce and whether the perception changes based on whether someone is more male or female presenting, but I imagine we already know the answer.

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founding

Not sure what to make of this. Not surprised, of course, because....confirmation bias. And don't forget the studies that talk about women's voices: "I don't like her laugh. She yells. Just not that woman."

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author

You'd think we'd be past this by now.

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I’m 70. 70. And I don’t take extreme mesures (no Botox, no surgery, little makeup, no dye). So I want to know when and where these were taken because I don’t think I look that old and neither do my peers. Is is generational?

All that said ageism whether at 40 or 70 is real!

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

Omg i totally misread this. Holy crap. Someone THINKS this is what 40+ looks like?!?! 🤯

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author

Ha, yes. Also, the 70 year olds I know look damn amazing!

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Jul 18, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner

I get the same results when I search for '12 year old' and '20 year old'. I think its just searching for the word Old.

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Good sleuthing! But interestingly, it can't just be the word "old" because I didn't see young people at the top of the feed if at all. Reverse chronological order? Hm.

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Great piece Liz - evidence that the best of us is on the inside and our experience and wisdom shows on the outside. Thanks so much and keep up the great work. Cheers, Mark ... p.s. I saw a photo yesterday - it was on a local obituary page; the fellow who died looked like a happy guy in his 80s, but the t-shirt he was wearing in that photo was the white message on his black T-shirt, that said: "I thought getting older would last longer:"

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author

Oof that’s a really striking message for an obituary photo.

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