Unfortunate Update: Due to a number of rape apologists commenting here, denying the lived experience of women along with hours and hours of credible corroborating video and photos , I’ve been forced to close comments. This is rare and makes me incredibly sad. If you are working this hard to disavow proven stories of violent sexual assault on women - but only certain women - I truly hope you’ll spend some time examining your biases. We all have biases, of course. But these in particular are vile, and I will not provide a platform for it.
Oh it's hard to be a Jew right now. I hear you. I've not said much because some people I know are all about Palestine. Other are all about Israel. I'm all about not killing people.
Thank you for all of these words and for sharing the words of others. Fallibilism is the base line for conversation and growth--it's the one thing I know I'm not wrong about (pretty much everything else is up for grabs). On this big damn birthday I just had (SIXTY? How on *earth*) I vowed that this would be the decade where I lead with curiosity rather than certainty. "What can I learn," not "look at all that I know."
Thank you for saying this so well. I have struggled to know what to say, when to say it, and have mostly stayed quiet, listening to others and trying to learn. But if I don’t speak on behalf of the women, then what is my purpose here? I am against all the killing no matter how justified any one group feels it is. And the atrocities being perpetuated against the women are particularly heinous. (That NYT article...oof. Rarely does something I read make me cry but how could one not be moved to tears, reading of such violence?)
"If you’re already thinking “but what about..” please don’t."
It must be said that shutting down a counterargument like this doesn't make it seem as though you're OK with being wrong. Not a counterargument to whether rape is wrong under any circumstance (of course it is) or whether you should be sharing this news article (yes, share it), but about what and whose stories white feminists actively choose to centre in this moment and whose stories you actively choose not to. These choices are active even if you're choosing to do nothing. You are kidding yourself if you think the way we prioritize what we share doesn't "signal support for the bombings in Gaza." If not support, at the very least it signals an inability to be moved to the same kind of care, action and use of your platform.
"Above all, I have struggled looking to so many of my feminist idols, my forever allies, my outspoken heroes and realizing that maybe some women’s bodies matter to them less than others."
This is something I've heard and read from so many white feminists over the last five months and, invariably, they are largely speaking about BIPOC and queer allies. I wonder how many of your feminist idols are women and queer folks of color. I wonder how many you've listened to discuss intersectional feminism and how often you were sure you understood. I wonder if you've thought about why it is so many marginalized folks of color are so sure of what they're witnessing and why they have chosen to centre the stories they're centring in this moment. If you have known them to be your "forever allies," I wonder if you can bring yourself to trust that knowledge and interrogate your blind spots as a white woman. I guarantee you it is not because they are all secretly antisemitic.
Unfortunate Update: Due to a number of rape apologists commenting here, denying the lived experience of women along with hours and hours of credible corroborating video and photos , I’ve been forced to close comments. This is rare and makes me incredibly sad. If you are working this hard to disavow proven stories of violent sexual assault on women - but only certain women - I truly hope you’ll spend some time examining your biases. We all have biases, of course. But these in particular are vile, and I will not provide a platform for it.
Oh it's hard to be a Jew right now. I hear you. I've not said much because some people I know are all about Palestine. Other are all about Israel. I'm all about not killing people.
Thank you for all of these words and for sharing the words of others. Fallibilism is the base line for conversation and growth--it's the one thing I know I'm not wrong about (pretty much everything else is up for grabs). On this big damn birthday I just had (SIXTY? How on *earth*) I vowed that this would be the decade where I lead with curiosity rather than certainty. "What can I learn," not "look at all that I know."
I feel the exact same way, pretty much. Thanks for capturing it so well.
Thank you for saying this so well. I have struggled to know what to say, when to say it, and have mostly stayed quiet, listening to others and trying to learn. But if I don’t speak on behalf of the women, then what is my purpose here? I am against all the killing no matter how justified any one group feels it is. And the atrocities being perpetuated against the women are particularly heinous. (That NYT article...oof. Rarely does something I read make me cry but how could one not be moved to tears, reading of such violence?)
Thank you for sharing.
Bravo!
Thank you for your thoughtfulness. This war is so multifaceted with so many issues and perspectives that it is overwhelming.
"If you’re already thinking “but what about..” please don’t."
It must be said that shutting down a counterargument like this doesn't make it seem as though you're OK with being wrong. Not a counterargument to whether rape is wrong under any circumstance (of course it is) or whether you should be sharing this news article (yes, share it), but about what and whose stories white feminists actively choose to centre in this moment and whose stories you actively choose not to. These choices are active even if you're choosing to do nothing. You are kidding yourself if you think the way we prioritize what we share doesn't "signal support for the bombings in Gaza." If not support, at the very least it signals an inability to be moved to the same kind of care, action and use of your platform.
"Above all, I have struggled looking to so many of my feminist idols, my forever allies, my outspoken heroes and realizing that maybe some women’s bodies matter to them less than others."
This is something I've heard and read from so many white feminists over the last five months and, invariably, they are largely speaking about BIPOC and queer allies. I wonder how many of your feminist idols are women and queer folks of color. I wonder how many you've listened to discuss intersectional feminism and how often you were sure you understood. I wonder if you've thought about why it is so many marginalized folks of color are so sure of what they're witnessing and why they have chosen to centre the stories they're centring in this moment. If you have known them to be your "forever allies," I wonder if you can bring yourself to trust that knowledge and interrogate your blind spots as a white woman. I guarantee you it is not because they are all secretly antisemitic.
Anyway, I do truly wish you well.