I also come from a loud, “I love you” family and it takes us 20 minutes to say goodbye anytime we get together because we are hugging and talking. 🤣
I wanted to share something we do that takes the “I love you’s” a little deeper. On birthdays we write “I love because..” lists to the birthday person. They are funny and sweet and full of inside jokes. And it’s cool to see how the lists change through the years. It’s a nice opportunity to take a moment to tell each other why we love each other.
I am very familiar with the 20 minute goodbye! (Ask Jon, ha.) And I really like your list idea -- that's so wonderful. We used to go around the dinner table the kids when they were little, each saying one thing we liked that day, one thing we didn't like, and one thing we were thankful for. Your idea is a perfect evolution, because it really is all about being thankful for each other. Thank you Liz!
Very meaningful post. Thank you Liz. I never leave the house without telling my wife I love her and also always pat the dogs. I am recovering from a heart attack so now will double down.
What a wonderful practice that could/should be. Imagine a perspective you or your children could gain on themselves and the self esteem that could grow with it.
And thank you for sharing that you like to read our stories as well. I always want to give you the gift you give me when I read your posts and then fumble my way into deleting the comment because 1. it's not written well enough and 2. It takes up your time.
I heart you for all of the wonderful ideas and perspectives and stories you have brought me, you show your passion.
I appreciate that so much, thank you. And by the way, everything I publish, I think about how it’s not written well, I did it too fast, and it’s taking up people’s time. So by all means, share away. No judgment. ❤️
What a beautiful post and such a great idea to tell people why we love them and what they mean to us. My family is an “I love you” family too, and we’re blunt and chaotic and say everything and anything to each other and now you’ve inspired me to practice telling my loved ones exactly why I love them 🧡
Liz, your writing brings out “the feels” in me. I grew up in a family where you were pretty sure you were loved, but no one ever told you that. Our siblings and I became much more open about our feelings after our parents passed around twenty years ago. We all know for certain that we are loved, as do our own families and friends.
It's so good to know that you're loved -- far better than hearing "I love you" but not really feeling it or believing it. Even better is what you have now: knowing your love and also hearing it. Thanks for being here Mark, I always love seeing your comments pop up.
I love your writing and the way you share your experiences. I don’t know you as a personal friend but I think it would be meaningful if I did. I remember you from Mom 2.0 Summits. I also love how you continue to keep it real and authentic especially helped me during the Pandemic!
Whew this hits hard! We are a big I love you fam, my sister and I talk on the phone almost every morning to our parents after drop off for me and before work for her- my parents still work but they are having breakfast at 7:30 when elementary school is in! We talk over each other. My husband is NOT from this type of fam but his family show they love each other in their presence and showing up for each other. One day my sister told me the way she sees me and I told him that’s what I was missing when he says I love you. I said I know you love me but I don’t know that you see me as clearly as my family of origin does, they know me SO well. And thank you for appreciating shared vulnerability bc I have a friend who doesn’t like to make things about her and I feel like cuts off the conversation by not sharing her own story! I want to be a journal writer and I’m taking a creative writing workshop this fall to jump start me with prompts and community bc I don’t love the solitary aspect of journaling.
Thanks for sharing this Elizabeth. It's fantastic that you found the words to tell your husband what you need; don't we all want to be seen? I hope it helped you move forward together in some way. I look forward to seeing your writing! Congrats on taking a class; you'll use those prompts, tricks and tools your whole life. (Ask me how I know!)
I have always tried to help him find the words to express his feelings- he is an acts of service kind of man and after over 10 years together with our kids moving into “real school,” it feels like a new chapter in our relationship. August makes me reflective on my relationships as we go into the new school year, it’s a real time of transition. My husband has coached high school soccer for 10 years so August 1 is day 1 of transition for us when they start morning practice!
Your post inspired me to do a lot of writing this week, including my first post on substack. My sister told me my letter on why I loved her was top notch sleep deprived writing!
LIZ!!! Remember the message I sent you about please write about grief??? This is it! This is what I needed...and my dad's birthday is Thursday and the anniversary of his death the next Wednesday. Thank you! We are very much an "I love you family", and I...well..I love that! My dad went downhill FAST when he was diagnosed with cancer. We never got to say all the things we thought we'd say. But for some reason, your post made me think of the song "Have It All" by Jason Mraz. I heard thst song for the first time shortly after my dad died. And I knew it was everything we would have said to each other if we had the time. It's my "I love you and miss you" song. Thank you for this post!
I'm so glad it helped Tracy; you are really going through it right now. Glad that you have those memories, that song, and a lifetime of I love you's to see you through. xoxo
Liz, I’m blown away by your post. It took the loss of a 40+ year friendship for me to realize the obvious. Tell people “why” they matter, while they’re here. Craig Markus’ loss made me realize what can happen if we wait on our “why’s”. Very grateful reading about the impact Craig’s Memorial had on people.
Jeff, I am honored you took the time to comment here, thank you. Clearly your final words for us struck a chord, and that’s saying something because you had a lot of beautiful, important things to say throughout the memorial.
I hope you’re finding some peace in these strange blurry early weeks. Losing old friends hurts like hell, and it sounds like you were an amazing group together. (if I had known you all in your college days, I think there would have been trouble!) Much love to you. 🤍
We had a thing at work where we were asked to tell our colleagues which of their work "powers" we would steal if we could. It was so nice to think through what we admired in how they conducted themselves at work, but then also found out all sorts of nice stuff about ourselves when it was our turn. I rolled my eyes when I first heard about it, then was all overwhelmed with gratitude by the end....
That sounds like a wonderful idea! I too tend to approach those exercises with an eyeroll but when you open yourself up, 90% of the time you realize that whoever coordinated, really really knew what they were doing.
I just may borrow that one for my own team, thank you.
Love is such a provocative and core element. Ideas of what love is have always been something I liked to ponder and explore. I have always said that love is a choice and something we are meant to do or more like; meant to be. So many people seem to say "I love you" as if they are saying "I approve of you and/or I appreciate you". Not sure if there has to be one definition of what love is, but I like the idea of exploring the "why", or the "because" as Liz put it. Love can be an opportunity to express appreciation, acceptance, belonging, a message of security, etc. It can describe our level of commitment to one another. From my heart, I love you all and see you all as part of a greater whole and as the reason we are all here. We are here to love and to share this lifes' journey whether we like it or not. Thank you for sharing Jennifer, Liz and all who do and will love.
I also come from a loud, “I love you” family and it takes us 20 minutes to say goodbye anytime we get together because we are hugging and talking. 🤣
I wanted to share something we do that takes the “I love you’s” a little deeper. On birthdays we write “I love because..” lists to the birthday person. They are funny and sweet and full of inside jokes. And it’s cool to see how the lists change through the years. It’s a nice opportunity to take a moment to tell each other why we love each other.
I am very familiar with the 20 minute goodbye! (Ask Jon, ha.) And I really like your list idea -- that's so wonderful. We used to go around the dinner table the kids when they were little, each saying one thing we liked that day, one thing we didn't like, and one thing we were thankful for. Your idea is a perfect evolution, because it really is all about being thankful for each other. Thank you Liz!
Thank you Owen. Maybe Jeff would be the rabbi because I’m just responding to his words.
Very meaningful post. Thank you Liz. I never leave the house without telling my wife I love her and also always pat the dogs. I am recovering from a heart attack so now will double down.
I just talked to you so I know you're okay but lordy Tobe, take care of yourself! (And we all love you too.)
What a wonderful practice that could/should be. Imagine a perspective you or your children could gain on themselves and the self esteem that could grow with it.
And thank you for sharing that you like to read our stories as well. I always want to give you the gift you give me when I read your posts and then fumble my way into deleting the comment because 1. it's not written well enough and 2. It takes up your time.
I heart you for all of the wonderful ideas and perspectives and stories you have brought me, you show your passion.
I appreciate that so much, thank you. And by the way, everything I publish, I think about how it’s not written well, I did it too fast, and it’s taking up people’s time. So by all means, share away. No judgment. ❤️
What a beautiful post and such a great idea to tell people why we love them and what they mean to us. My family is an “I love you” family too, and we’re blunt and chaotic and say everything and anything to each other and now you’ve inspired me to practice telling my loved ones exactly why I love them 🧡
Thanks Sonbol. That's wonderful. PS blunt and chaotic...sounds like my kind of family!
Liz, your writing brings out “the feels” in me. I grew up in a family where you were pretty sure you were loved, but no one ever told you that. Our siblings and I became much more open about our feelings after our parents passed around twenty years ago. We all know for certain that we are loved, as do our own families and friends.
It's so good to know that you're loved -- far better than hearing "I love you" but not really feeling it or believing it. Even better is what you have now: knowing your love and also hearing it. Thanks for being here Mark, I always love seeing your comments pop up.
I love your writing and the way you share your experiences. I don’t know you as a personal friend but I think it would be meaningful if I did. I remember you from Mom 2.0 Summits. I also love how you continue to keep it real and authentic especially helped me during the Pandemic!
Wow, thanks Lorette. I appreciate that so much. And the pandemic...phew. We were all helping each other, weren't we. I'm glad we still are.
Whew this hits hard! We are a big I love you fam, my sister and I talk on the phone almost every morning to our parents after drop off for me and before work for her- my parents still work but they are having breakfast at 7:30 when elementary school is in! We talk over each other. My husband is NOT from this type of fam but his family show they love each other in their presence and showing up for each other. One day my sister told me the way she sees me and I told him that’s what I was missing when he says I love you. I said I know you love me but I don’t know that you see me as clearly as my family of origin does, they know me SO well. And thank you for appreciating shared vulnerability bc I have a friend who doesn’t like to make things about her and I feel like cuts off the conversation by not sharing her own story! I want to be a journal writer and I’m taking a creative writing workshop this fall to jump start me with prompts and community bc I don’t love the solitary aspect of journaling.
Thanks for sharing this Elizabeth. It's fantastic that you found the words to tell your husband what you need; don't we all want to be seen? I hope it helped you move forward together in some way. I look forward to seeing your writing! Congrats on taking a class; you'll use those prompts, tricks and tools your whole life. (Ask me how I know!)
I have always tried to help him find the words to express his feelings- he is an acts of service kind of man and after over 10 years together with our kids moving into “real school,” it feels like a new chapter in our relationship. August makes me reflective on my relationships as we go into the new school year, it’s a real time of transition. My husband has coached high school soccer for 10 years so August 1 is day 1 of transition for us when they start morning practice!
Your post inspired me to do a lot of writing this week, including my first post on substack. My sister told me my letter on why I loved her was top notch sleep deprived writing!
Bravo! 👏👏👏
LIZ!!! Remember the message I sent you about please write about grief??? This is it! This is what I needed...and my dad's birthday is Thursday and the anniversary of his death the next Wednesday. Thank you! We are very much an "I love you family", and I...well..I love that! My dad went downhill FAST when he was diagnosed with cancer. We never got to say all the things we thought we'd say. But for some reason, your post made me think of the song "Have It All" by Jason Mraz. I heard thst song for the first time shortly after my dad died. And I knew it was everything we would have said to each other if we had the time. It's my "I love you and miss you" song. Thank you for this post!
I'm so glad it helped Tracy; you are really going through it right now. Glad that you have those memories, that song, and a lifetime of I love you's to see you through. xoxo
Liz, I’m blown away by your post. It took the loss of a 40+ year friendship for me to realize the obvious. Tell people “why” they matter, while they’re here. Craig Markus’ loss made me realize what can happen if we wait on our “why’s”. Very grateful reading about the impact Craig’s Memorial had on people.
Jeff, I am honored you took the time to comment here, thank you. Clearly your final words for us struck a chord, and that’s saying something because you had a lot of beautiful, important things to say throughout the memorial.
I hope you’re finding some peace in these strange blurry early weeks. Losing old friends hurts like hell, and it sounds like you were an amazing group together. (if I had known you all in your college days, I think there would have been trouble!) Much love to you. 🤍
We had a thing at work where we were asked to tell our colleagues which of their work "powers" we would steal if we could. It was so nice to think through what we admired in how they conducted themselves at work, but then also found out all sorts of nice stuff about ourselves when it was our turn. I rolled my eyes when I first heard about it, then was all overwhelmed with gratitude by the end....
That sounds like a wonderful idea! I too tend to approach those exercises with an eyeroll but when you open yourself up, 90% of the time you realize that whoever coordinated, really really knew what they were doing.
I just may borrow that one for my own team, thank you.
Love is such a provocative and core element. Ideas of what love is have always been something I liked to ponder and explore. I have always said that love is a choice and something we are meant to do or more like; meant to be. So many people seem to say "I love you" as if they are saying "I approve of you and/or I appreciate you". Not sure if there has to be one definition of what love is, but I like the idea of exploring the "why", or the "because" as Liz put it. Love can be an opportunity to express appreciation, acceptance, belonging, a message of security, etc. It can describe our level of commitment to one another. From my heart, I love you all and see you all as part of a greater whole and as the reason we are all here. We are here to love and to share this lifes' journey whether we like it or not. Thank you for sharing Jennifer, Liz and all who do and will love.