Don't know who the Hoarse Whisperer is IRL (do people still say that?) but read his post b/c Discourse & it was lovely & loving & who doesn't deserve to love and be loved like that? Well, I can think of one orange-skinned baggy-suited ex-president, but maybe if he *had* been loved... Anyway. Almost married one guy, then realized MISTAKE, called it off. Married a guy who had just divorced his wife. When we got engaged (we were still in our (late) 30s, it seemed legit), my brother said "okay but yeah, aren't you both just kind of rebounding?" So on *every* anniversary (25 & counting) I send my bro a text saying "it's a long-ass bounce." I find it hysterical.
This was the best part (for me) about The Last of Us. The unexpected joy and beauty and love,in the midst of a world sideways and everything wrong and cruel and broken and scary,there was love.My teen watched with me and it was their joy that caught me off guard. "There is a love story in the apocalypse at the end of the world." Hope is all we have some days, and it is enough.
Coming up on our 35th wedding anniversary and I can’t believe it. We are so … conventional….though I swear we really aren’t! We are in our umpteenth iteration of “us” which I think is normal and organic - and imperfect. But quite honestly our foundation is one of loss - and once you experience something so profound no matter your age or circumstance - it is a bond that you can’t imagine having with another. I can have happiness with anyone - but my deepest sadness and grief I share with my wrinkled, bald, handsome and imperfect partner and on most days I am forever grateful for them.
Big congratulations! You and Jon have been that couple that I have cheered for starting eleven years ago. It seems far fetched to have read both of your work and think “you know who would be amazing together” but I did. (I know how far fetched that sounds). I think you all were seeing Circus Smirkis in VT (I’m from that area) when I felt giggly happy for someone else, you.
But why do we root for first loves so hard? My inner 80's teenager is still sad that the Hoarse Whisperer's girlfriend split up with that gorgeous rockstar. Why?! I don't know
Happy 11 years! It’s been an honor to watch your beautiful blended family grow and love. Honestly, it was helpful to me when I entered my second big love blended family kablamo.
Happy 11 years! A week ago was the 13 year anniversary of the day I met my husband, and we will be married 10 years in October. We were not each other’s first loves but we have certainly been the longest!
Oh my heart - congratulations on ELEVEN Years. I remember when you first connected. love that you have found LASTING happiness.
I think what I have learned most about love - whether it is first, second, twenty first or even last is 1) I learn valuable lessons with each love and connection - whether they last two years or ten and 2) there are absolutely no guarantees - even when you KNOW you have found your person.
I actually just had a conversation with Coop (17 yo son) about this last night... do I have a 'love of my life'? And, if so, how did I know?
I do. Or I did. I suppose it depends on whether or not you think we get to keep that soul mate even after they are gone. And I knew because I felt it in every corner of my being - from the tips of my toes to my split ends. I finally learned how it felt to share myself - scars, flaws, vulnerabilities and all - and STILL be loved, treasured and deeply safe - not in spite of allowing myself to be fully seen, but BECAUSE of it. And I was consumed with gratitude. THIS is what it feels like? How did we get so lucky? It is remarkable to be loved especially for all of the things you had been led to believe are the very traits that have rendered you unlovable.
My 'second chance' or final chance - or who-even-knows-what-chance is no longer in front of me. And I don't know if that makes me eligible for another gift of love, but I do know I'd take the brief time we had over never having experienced it at all.
There was this guy. I saw him the 4th day of choir my sophomore year in high school. And I thought "There is something really special about him," and then said not a word to him the while school year because I was WAY to shy. I was introduced to him the summer between 10th and 11th grade. We were pretty much inseparable within our group of friends, but never declared ourselves as anything. I am pretty sure I was madly, deeply in love with him from the QST time I saw him. We were together off and on until shortly after his 21st birthday, when he broke my heart by moving to NC. I couldn't tell him I loved him, because I was 20; I had nothing to offer him, because we were both pretty irresponsible and living very much in the moment. I met the man I would marry. I told Eric I was getting married, because we had stayed in touch. Didn't invite him to the wedding, but I knew, but didn't admit to myself that I still had BIG feelings. He came to the wedding. I wished that he would object. That was the last time I saw him. Stayed married to the guy, who turned out to be an absolute jerk, thought he had signed a bill of sale when he married me, verbally and emotionally abusive. I stayed because I knew he would try to turn our son against me. 22-ish years into our marriage, my son told me he found out my husband was having an affair. And in a nutshell, I was free, and still had my relationship with my son. Two years later, I found Eric on Facebook. And now, here we sit, almost 5 years later, in the house we bought together. I am laughing, because I just leaned in for a kiss and he left out the "smack" part of the kiss (how on earth do you explain how a kiss sounds/goes) and he told me we now need to practice more, so as to get the smack part correct ever time. I don't know that we'll ever get married. I don't care. What we have is imperfectly perfect and I love it. I hope you and Jon live in perfect imperfection for many years to come.
LOVE this! And I have been weirdly giddy for The Hoarse Whisperer and his new +1.
Don't know who the Hoarse Whisperer is IRL (do people still say that?) but read his post b/c Discourse & it was lovely & loving & who doesn't deserve to love and be loved like that? Well, I can think of one orange-skinned baggy-suited ex-president, but maybe if he *had* been loved... Anyway. Almost married one guy, then realized MISTAKE, called it off. Married a guy who had just divorced his wife. When we got engaged (we were still in our (late) 30s, it seemed legit), my brother said "okay but yeah, aren't you both just kind of rebounding?" So on *every* anniversary (25 & counting) I send my bro a text saying "it's a long-ass bounce." I find it hysterical.
This was the best part (for me) about The Last of Us. The unexpected joy and beauty and love,in the midst of a world sideways and everything wrong and cruel and broken and scary,there was love.My teen watched with me and it was their joy that caught me off guard. "There is a love story in the apocalypse at the end of the world." Hope is all we have some days, and it is enough.
Have you watched Alice and Jack on PBS? Another form of love….
Coming up on our 35th wedding anniversary and I can’t believe it. We are so … conventional….though I swear we really aren’t! We are in our umpteenth iteration of “us” which I think is normal and organic - and imperfect. But quite honestly our foundation is one of loss - and once you experience something so profound no matter your age or circumstance - it is a bond that you can’t imagine having with another. I can have happiness with anyone - but my deepest sadness and grief I share with my wrinkled, bald, handsome and imperfect partner and on most days I am forever grateful for them.
Big congratulations! You and Jon have been that couple that I have cheered for starting eleven years ago. It seems far fetched to have read both of your work and think “you know who would be amazing together” but I did. (I know how far fetched that sounds). I think you all were seeing Circus Smirkis in VT (I’m from that area) when I felt giggly happy for someone else, you.
Congrats on 11 years with Jon! I’m so glad you two have each other and that all the girls have you! ❤️❤️
But why do we root for first loves so hard? My inner 80's teenager is still sad that the Hoarse Whisperer's girlfriend split up with that gorgeous rockstar. Why?! I don't know
Happy 11 years! It’s been an honor to watch your beautiful blended family grow and love. Honestly, it was helpful to me when I entered my second big love blended family kablamo.
Love this! Going to look up the Hoarse Whisperer now.
(Should “I didn’t know he would be the last” be “. . . he wouldn’t be the last”?)
Happy 11 years! A week ago was the 13 year anniversary of the day I met my husband, and we will be married 10 years in October. We were not each other’s first loves but we have certainly been the longest!
LIP! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Oh my heart - congratulations on ELEVEN Years. I remember when you first connected. love that you have found LASTING happiness.
I think what I have learned most about love - whether it is first, second, twenty first or even last is 1) I learn valuable lessons with each love and connection - whether they last two years or ten and 2) there are absolutely no guarantees - even when you KNOW you have found your person.
I actually just had a conversation with Coop (17 yo son) about this last night... do I have a 'love of my life'? And, if so, how did I know?
I do. Or I did. I suppose it depends on whether or not you think we get to keep that soul mate even after they are gone. And I knew because I felt it in every corner of my being - from the tips of my toes to my split ends. I finally learned how it felt to share myself - scars, flaws, vulnerabilities and all - and STILL be loved, treasured and deeply safe - not in spite of allowing myself to be fully seen, but BECAUSE of it. And I was consumed with gratitude. THIS is what it feels like? How did we get so lucky? It is remarkable to be loved especially for all of the things you had been led to believe are the very traits that have rendered you unlovable.
My 'second chance' or final chance - or who-even-knows-what-chance is no longer in front of me. And I don't know if that makes me eligible for another gift of love, but I do know I'd take the brief time we had over never having experienced it at all.
There was this guy. I saw him the 4th day of choir my sophomore year in high school. And I thought "There is something really special about him," and then said not a word to him the while school year because I was WAY to shy. I was introduced to him the summer between 10th and 11th grade. We were pretty much inseparable within our group of friends, but never declared ourselves as anything. I am pretty sure I was madly, deeply in love with him from the QST time I saw him. We were together off and on until shortly after his 21st birthday, when he broke my heart by moving to NC. I couldn't tell him I loved him, because I was 20; I had nothing to offer him, because we were both pretty irresponsible and living very much in the moment. I met the man I would marry. I told Eric I was getting married, because we had stayed in touch. Didn't invite him to the wedding, but I knew, but didn't admit to myself that I still had BIG feelings. He came to the wedding. I wished that he would object. That was the last time I saw him. Stayed married to the guy, who turned out to be an absolute jerk, thought he had signed a bill of sale when he married me, verbally and emotionally abusive. I stayed because I knew he would try to turn our son against me. 22-ish years into our marriage, my son told me he found out my husband was having an affair. And in a nutshell, I was free, and still had my relationship with my son. Two years later, I found Eric on Facebook. And now, here we sit, almost 5 years later, in the house we bought together. I am laughing, because I just leaned in for a kiss and he left out the "smack" part of the kiss (how on earth do you explain how a kiss sounds/goes) and he told me we now need to practice more, so as to get the smack part correct ever time. I don't know that we'll ever get married. I don't care. What we have is imperfectly perfect and I love it. I hope you and Jon live in perfect imperfection for many years to come.