Congratulations on raising a fine young adult. And I wish I was around to give you a hug, because I have also experienced the pride, and the bittersweetness of allowing them to fly. You done good.
This immediately took me back to summer five years ago when I was in the same place. I cried so many happy tears that summer, and so many tears of worry and fear of the unknown. I blinked, and she's now a college grad, living on her own, and finding her place in the world. As for me... I'm still navigating this new reality, but my beautiful new place of parenting an adult is amazing.
Savor everything this summer. It truly passes by in an instant. You did good, mama. Best wishes to your daughter!
This is a HUUUGE moment. You’re allowed all the feels. I have learned, and as you know my kids are parents themselves, that they’re always your kids. Everything flows and morphs but they are always be your kids. Time between calls or visits expand and contract but they will always be your kids. This is old and corny but true: “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. “
Beautiful. I remember being so happy to have the freedom to make new choices when I went away (240 miles from my suburban town) to college. And the comfort of having my childhood home and family to go back to for breaks. I’ll be digging to remember those feelings and the good that came of my independence when my son heads off somewhere in 3 years!
Damn, Liz. This so perfectly captures how I have felt about my son launching himself into the world. He’s a senior in college now but I still feel like it’s his first day of college: will he know what to do, will he remember to make that appointment, what if he doesn’t x, y, or z? And how do I navigate the world that he’s in now? It sometimes feels like I’m visiting a foreign country...so much is familiar but not quite the same.
Thanks for causing some teardrops on my cheeks. And for the record, I went to high school and college in Boston, met my husband there as a junior, and cannot tell you how perfect a location it is to start her adulting. The T is easy, the streets are clean, the learning is legit and the fall is fantastic. Sit in your sadness but embrace your success. Mother bird did her job. Kudos.
I cried, as I do when I read most of your writing, because the memories of those days never seem to go away. As a mother and a grandmother you tap into a universal song that so many of us hear. Even when we only know the first line, the song remains.
Beautifully said. New reader to your Substack. It popped up on my recommended reads, and I’m so happy it did. I’m a homeschooling mom of two - my oldest is now a sophomore in college and my youngest will be a high school senior. When Oldest graduated from our homeschool, I did not fully realize the importance of the occasion at the time. It was 2021. Things were bananas. An alternate reality. No graduation party. No friends or family gathered to celebrate. So I failed to realize that sending my baby off to college would mean her true independence... that she would have a new definition of “Home,” a place away from me. That transition for her from “Home” to “Mom’s house” hit me HARD.
You’ve got 18 years with your babies. Use them wisely.
It keeps getting better. Right now my adult son and awesome daughter-in-law and their exceptional dog are visiting us in northern Michigan. They are sweet and generous and just a bit high maintenance and I am fully aware that their decision to spend a week with us, stepfather and me, is an amazing thing! I wept like a widow leaving him at his college despite it only being 2 hours from Chicago. But this is better than anything I ever expected.
I’ve still got one year left with my oldest son at home, but your story’s still helpful, and relatable. Ten days ago I dropped my son off at the airport for a school trip to the Galapagos Islands. It’s the furthest away from home he’s been. On the 5am drive to the airport, I felt teary. Somehow my mind went back to when he was first born, also just after 5am in the summer. I really thought I was gonna start crying as we walked in … but then, he told me he forgot his damn passport. The one was so sure he had he didn’t need anyone to double check.
It turned out fine, but barely; we were able to run home and get it. That morning I felt the same mix of feelings I think I’ll have when my kids leave home. Deep grief by their absence, but also relief from not being responsible for them anymore. His plane lands in an hour. I miss him so much, I even cleaned his room (kind of) which I haven’t done for a long time. So maybe I’ll still miss feeling responsible for him when he’s gone, at least sometimes.
Liz, you are such a gifted writer. I read and reread some of your eloquent sentences and smile with tears in my eyes. And I know you would say you’re lucky to have Thalia, but man, she’s lucky to have you. All those kids are!
Covid rudely interrupted my youngest daughter’s freshman year in college and she is just finishing up & starting on her masters degree in 2024. Oldest has stopped working at the expensive private college major that she wanted and is a baggage handler for an airline. And turning 25 next month and able to rent a car at adult rates.
I know what you mean about dad stuff. The girls are 23 and 25. Their dad died when they were 14 and 16. The pain is still so fresh and raw. I have his cherished letter sweaters, Beatle T-shirts, his blue jeans, his diaries, his photographs. They each wear a wedding ring that belonged to him (we upgraded) and a necklace with his finger print on it. I will save the rest for them to decide when I’m gone.
This is lovely. Thalia sounds like she is becoming/has become an amazing person. My daughter graduates this year, and although she may not be moving away just yet, it still feels momentous. I heard something recently that really made me stop and take a moment to absorb it. A woman who has a newborn daughter said she realized that as a mother, "She isn't really mine, but I will always be hers." It honestly made me very emotional because I think it's true, and says it pretty simply and perfectly. In a strange way it made me feel better. (On the other hand, I cried when "Puff the Magic Dragon" came on the 60s station today. So. You know. Grain of salt.)
Congratulations on raising a fine young adult. And I wish I was around to give you a hug, because I have also experienced the pride, and the bittersweetness of allowing them to fly. You done good.
Oh, so many emotions all at once!
This immediately took me back to summer five years ago when I was in the same place. I cried so many happy tears that summer, and so many tears of worry and fear of the unknown. I blinked, and she's now a college grad, living on her own, and finding her place in the world. As for me... I'm still navigating this new reality, but my beautiful new place of parenting an adult is amazing.
Savor everything this summer. It truly passes by in an instant. You did good, mama. Best wishes to your daughter!
This is a HUUUGE moment. You’re allowed all the feels. I have learned, and as you know my kids are parents themselves, that they’re always your kids. Everything flows and morphs but they are always be your kids. Time between calls or visits expand and contract but they will always be your kids. This is old and corny but true: “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. “
The Prophet | Kahlil Gibran
Beautiful. I remember being so happy to have the freedom to make new choices when I went away (240 miles from my suburban town) to college. And the comfort of having my childhood home and family to go back to for breaks. I’ll be digging to remember those feelings and the good that came of my independence when my son heads off somewhere in 3 years!
Congrats to Thalia - and to you!
Damn, Liz. This so perfectly captures how I have felt about my son launching himself into the world. He’s a senior in college now but I still feel like it’s his first day of college: will he know what to do, will he remember to make that appointment, what if he doesn’t x, y, or z? And how do I navigate the world that he’s in now? It sometimes feels like I’m visiting a foreign country...so much is familiar but not quite the same.
Thanks for causing some teardrops on my cheeks. And for the record, I went to high school and college in Boston, met my husband there as a junior, and cannot tell you how perfect a location it is to start her adulting. The T is easy, the streets are clean, the learning is legit and the fall is fantastic. Sit in your sadness but embrace your success. Mother bird did her job. Kudos.
I cried, as I do when I read most of your writing, because the memories of those days never seem to go away. As a mother and a grandmother you tap into a universal song that so many of us hear. Even when we only know the first line, the song remains.
Beautifully said. New reader to your Substack. It popped up on my recommended reads, and I’m so happy it did. I’m a homeschooling mom of two - my oldest is now a sophomore in college and my youngest will be a high school senior. When Oldest graduated from our homeschool, I did not fully realize the importance of the occasion at the time. It was 2021. Things were bananas. An alternate reality. No graduation party. No friends or family gathered to celebrate. So I failed to realize that sending my baby off to college would mean her true independence... that she would have a new definition of “Home,” a place away from me. That transition for her from “Home” to “Mom’s house” hit me HARD.
You’ve got 18 years with your babies. Use them wisely.
It keeps getting better. Right now my adult son and awesome daughter-in-law and their exceptional dog are visiting us in northern Michigan. They are sweet and generous and just a bit high maintenance and I am fully aware that their decision to spend a week with us, stepfather and me, is an amazing thing! I wept like a widow leaving him at his college despite it only being 2 hours from Chicago. But this is better than anything I ever expected.
Dude. Feeling this so hard. T for transport and all. I love you.
Beautiful. Such a great read as I’m navigating the 1st summer with my “adult” child. Parenting, always teaching us.
I’ve still got one year left with my oldest son at home, but your story’s still helpful, and relatable. Ten days ago I dropped my son off at the airport for a school trip to the Galapagos Islands. It’s the furthest away from home he’s been. On the 5am drive to the airport, I felt teary. Somehow my mind went back to when he was first born, also just after 5am in the summer. I really thought I was gonna start crying as we walked in … but then, he told me he forgot his damn passport. The one was so sure he had he didn’t need anyone to double check.
It turned out fine, but barely; we were able to run home and get it. That morning I felt the same mix of feelings I think I’ll have when my kids leave home. Deep grief by their absence, but also relief from not being responsible for them anymore. His plane lands in an hour. I miss him so much, I even cleaned his room (kind of) which I haven’t done for a long time. So maybe I’ll still miss feeling responsible for him when he’s gone, at least sometimes.
Liz, you are such a gifted writer. I read and reread some of your eloquent sentences and smile with tears in my eyes. And I know you would say you’re lucky to have Thalia, but man, she’s lucky to have you. All those kids are!
Covid rudely interrupted my youngest daughter’s freshman year in college and she is just finishing up & starting on her masters degree in 2024. Oldest has stopped working at the expensive private college major that she wanted and is a baggage handler for an airline. And turning 25 next month and able to rent a car at adult rates.
I know what you mean about dad stuff. The girls are 23 and 25. Their dad died when they were 14 and 16. The pain is still so fresh and raw. I have his cherished letter sweaters, Beatle T-shirts, his blue jeans, his diaries, his photographs. They each wear a wedding ring that belonged to him (we upgraded) and a necklace with his finger print on it. I will save the rest for them to decide when I’m gone.
This is lovely. Thalia sounds like she is becoming/has become an amazing person. My daughter graduates this year, and although she may not be moving away just yet, it still feels momentous. I heard something recently that really made me stop and take a moment to absorb it. A woman who has a newborn daughter said she realized that as a mother, "She isn't really mine, but I will always be hers." It honestly made me very emotional because I think it's true, and says it pretty simply and perfectly. In a strange way it made me feel better. (On the other hand, I cried when "Puff the Magic Dragon" came on the 60s station today. So. You know. Grain of salt.)