Sensational post Liz. You do have 2 amazing parents! And amazing children! And you are equally amazing! I love you so much and I will get involved. I will share this magnificent and important writing!
May 24, 2023·edited May 24, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner
First, this is a great post -- one of your best.
Second, we must have livd parallel lives! The rule in my family was, "You can read anything you want, listen to anything you want, and see anything you want. You just can't do anything." (That last bit may have been evaded.) My copy of Changing Bodies, Changing Lives (the teen-oriented version of Our Bodies, Ourselves) was read so thoroughly by my entire close friend group that the spine was broken in 4 or 5 places by the time I finished high school. The restricted book that my parents helped me fight for access to wasn't Forever, but Daddy Longlegs, which had been removed from my school library. The saga ended with me getting to meet Nat Hentoff and receiving a signed copy of his YA novel The Day They Came to Arrest the Book.
My BFF had a copy of Forever, which was also read by the whole friend group. I don't think that book fell apart, but we did crack the spine such that it automatically opened to page 151, the most exciting page in the edition.
I love that you have all these wonderful memories. All those well-read books with broken spines and author autographs paint a portrait of a wonderfully fortunate childhood. Thanks for sharing that, Liza!
RIGHT??? When I finally read it, I was absolutely confused, even as a 6th grader. Doesn't the protagonist eventually fall in love with her mysterious patron? That's a bit ick, but by then she was considered an adult, and it wasn't written salaciously.
Brava! Brilliant, Liz. My mom let me read anything as well. Certainly there times when something may not have been age appropriate but that didn’t matter. I’d like to think that early exposure to the world beyond my tiny Midwest town in a flyover state helped me the open minded person I am today.
Sounds like you had a great mom! But your comment begs the question, what is age appropriate? I have so many thoughts about that -- there are a lot of things we think will be traumatic/inappropriate for our kids, but aren’t. A topic hits differently when they just don’t have the life experience that we have. (Also, the reason my kids make fun of me for crying at basically every movie.)
Good point, Liz….I hadn’t even questioned the “age-appropriate” edict. I think what she was mainly concerned about was me reading about graphic sexual situations/encounters before I even knew what that was/meant. I could discuss anything under the sun (she practically begged us to) with her and, I’m speculating here, I think there were things that she was more comfortable talking about with us once we were older rather than at age 8.
Totally reasonable! I still remember having debates with my ex about whether they should be watching SpongeBob when they were five. Ha. We all have our concerns don’t we?.
Too funny. I was in the “he shouldn’t watch SB” camp until a conversation with a friend who was an elementary school principal about why she let her son watch SpongeBob. Her points were so good that I let my kid watch him, too. Of course, as soon as the previously forbidden show was available to him he barely ever wanted to watch it. LOL
My 6 yo loves Home Alone and every time we have watched it he says, “Don’t cry when his mom gets home!” And every time I still cry. I watched and read so many books that were about teenagers when I was 8-12 years old, we were always encouraged to ask questions and with tv/movies we all to watch together because we only had our living room tv. I learned about date rape from Felicity and my mom was very ready to talk at the end of that episode, my sister and I were in 5th grade. I looked it up and it was November so we were 11.
I just read your post, and was about rant a bit about my mother whose efforts to get me reading and interested in books at age 5; we began, and ended, that adventure with my unable to concentrate or be interested in books - that one anyway. She wasn't alone in not noticing my ADHD; it took 65 years for that to unfold, but that's another story ...
while writing, a newswire item came across my screen
"Tina Turner died"
And in conclusion ... neither Ike Turner, Ron Desantis, Florida library complainants can stop women and girls (boys and me too), poets and novelists, everyone with a pen or a soapbox. Kids and grandkids NEED influences and guidance. That should be about how to read and think vs. what to read and 'think my way'. Parents, qualified or not, will guide their children. That's not going to change much very quickly, and we don't need to worry. Banning books is a failed and stupid way shield children at an impressionable age. They'll find what they need and want to find, online or in a musty box in a basement.
All these laws and regulation are not found in human DNA.
And laws can't stop a thought, a curiosity, or a dream.
You’re right, it is failed and it is stupid. I wish it were only at an impressionable age though. Governors are now encroaching on what universities can teach. I hope everyone is watching very carefully. (and RIP to one of the greats.)
New reader here, and I LOVE this piece! I came from a similar family where my sisters and I read anything and everything we could get our hands on. I think part of what makes Gen X the way we are was our ability to jump from Are you There God, to Forever, to Flowers in the Attic, and back to Highlights magazines. I learned an appreciation for reading and discussed *most* things with my mom (and the rest with my older sisters). We all turned out okay. 🙂
What a fantastic perspective. I actually had a VC Andrews reference in here but that started taking things way off track. 🙃 i’m hoping our kids will have this in their own way, with their own media. In fact, I’m sure of it. Thank you so much for reading and commenting D!
My parents had the same philosophy raising my brother and me. They wanted us to read, to love reading. Nothing was off limits. If we could read the words, we could read the book. Friends had to hide their copies of Sweet Valley High, VC Andrews and Stephen King. My mothers didn’t bat an eye. If I had questions I knew to ask her or look it up in another book.
I wonder how many of these people who want books banned read Flowers in the Attic with a flashlight under the covers so their parent wouldn’t know. I bet a few.
Right? I went to a Catholic high school after public elementary school. Let’s just say that the Catholic school kids weren’t as sheltered as their parents may have believed LOL! Locally I know many who were raised by parents who were much more tolerant than the kids are now as parents.
May 24, 2023·edited May 24, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner
Important topic! I think context matters more than content. As a parent, that means having discussions that are nuanced. I have four kids and it is harder than I thought it’d be because each one is so different. I want to make information available, but I also don’t want to push stuff on them before they feel ready for it. And sometimes kids prefer information from someone other than the parent. I don’t take that personally. I just try to help them evaluate sources of information, make sure they know we’re available to talk, and periodically test the waters to see if they’re ready to discuss different topics.
Very wise. Perfect reason for there to be all kinds of books in school libraries. They will choose what they are interested in — and if they are interested in it, they should be able to find it.
I love this so much! Kudos to your parents for not putting any limits on what you could read.
I grew up in Iran but went to an American school up until 3rd grade so English was my first written language. After the revolution when they closed all the American schools, my parents were dead set on making sure that I didn't forget my English, so I had private tutors and access to any English book I wanted to read (bought from super sketchy underground bookstores). Funny thing was my dad heavily monitored any Farsi book that I read, but never bothered about English books, which meant that I read some really wild books at a pretty young age (I'm looking at you Harold Robbins) 😂
I don't have kids but I feel very strongly that kids should have access to any book that they want to read, and these book bans in the US are a terrifying parallel to what most super conservative religious regimes across the world have done and are continuing to do.
I really appreciate you sharing this perspective. It must be very scary to see so many similarities to what you experienced firsthand and thought you had left behind. And thanks for the reminder that you 100% don’t have to have kids to care about their education. They are our future, as the song goes.
(And for me, it was Tom Robbins who was the first really “adult” author that blew my mind in high school. oof!)
I am de-lurking to tell you how much I love this post. It also feels fair to tell youbI found your Instagram through @Blurb and I love the pics of your life, so I kept coming back. And now I read your Substack. Thank you for writing this. I, too, grew up in a house where I was allowed to read anything I wanted to. Never had to ask, never had to explain. Judy Blume was and is one of literary heroes. I live in Florida, and the things going on here regarding schools and books is heartbreaking. I think it's important to have every type of reading material available to students, for lots of reasons, but 2 main ones:
1. I work with foster and adoptive families. It horrifies me to think that there are kids out there whose only exposure to books is what they come across in school. I would imagine for kids that are experiencing some pretty awful things at home, books might be an escape for some of those kids, in addition to showing so many different lives than the one they are living.
2. I think reading seriously impacts ignorance, and I don't mean that in a negative way. There are so many things we are innocently ignorant about: how other cultures live, what families of races other than our own go through, even the mundane stuff that we may have never thought of had it not been for reading (ironing a shirt: sprinkle some water in it, stick it in the fridge for roughly an hour, then iron. Learned that from a Robert Fulgum book). Whole entire worlds, right there at our fingertips!
3. Okay, I thought of a good last point: quick brag moment-in 1st grade, I had a 12th grade reading level. I DID NOT want to only read Dr. Seuss. I wanted ALL the words, and had it not been for our very well stocked public library, I may have become a very discouraged reader.
Thank you again for your words. I think you are amazing, and thank you for sharing your pictures of Brooklyn to this woman living in almost-rural Florida!
Tracy, thank you so much for reading. I am grateful for your comment -- what an essential reminder that there are a lot more reasons we need access to diverse books in schools. I’m also thinking about the kids for whom school is their one guaranteed safe zone each day, and now that feels shaky to them.
It’s horrible what the radical right is doing to vulnerable kids in the name of some misguided performative activism -- and book bans are just the tip.
Glad to have you here and feel free to delurk anytime. Keep fighting, Florida! 💪
How I wish a FRAGMENT of this book banning energy went into PROBLEM SOLVING our broken education system and actually TEACHING KIDS HOW TO READ. It’s mind boggling what is deemed a problem when we have a literacy crisis barely anyone talks about.
Hi Lisa! Your comment made me think of this fascinating Valerie Strauss WaPo column about how "we do not see convincing evidence for a reading crisis," and that if we do want to support kids who need more help, a lot of it comes down to addressing poverty, hunger, and... (drumroll) elimination of school libraries. Good read.
“Crisis” is loaded term, depending on the lens and which data is being pulled. One of my data points is personal experience of having a child who is not wired to learn with balanced literacy. And knowing there are countless struggling readers in my district with affluent parents filling in the gaps of poor methodologies via tutoring. My son did need explicit phonics instruction, and more. It’s ongoing. No beautiful library in our town (which we have) would have changed that. Though community support in all facets - food, safety, information access like LIBRARIES - IS essential!
Thanks for sharing that Lisa. It's true, there are so many different kids and different learners and shame on us if we can't find ways to better accommodate all of them.
Fundamental health and wellness is at stake. Had a front row seat on that one. There is so much opportunity to improve out there if we as a society can get out of our own way. The article you posted was well thought out but the author clearly never had personal experience with a struggling child told to “just try harder” when said child was giving all they had and then some. Parenting in this situation is all hands on deck. Then again, it should always be no matter what life throws at you. Xo
This post is, great 👍 and with cancel culture running amok these crazy days, also brave! As with your childhood, I was also allowed to READ anything that I could get my hands on (albeit if it involved a little help from an adult! 🤭) And if I got my hands on something I didn't comprehend, I had full access to the worn dictionary on my Mother's desk! I feel this was the single most important and helpful thing my parent's did for a maturing me. Not only intellectually (nothing builds vocabulary, comprehension or memory retention like reading, and starting YOUNG, as I'm sure you know), but also in assistance to the character building of the woman I am still becoming today. I am thankful to report that I am not "one of the sheeple" (as my amazing husband would say), and that through letting me read at my own discretion, my parent's gave me the avenue through which I eventually learned one of the top 3 that I have been terrified of figuring out how to teach my OWN SON since, well, conception.... How to trust in the basic goodness of humanity, yet still possessing the discernment to question everything and everyone. Awesome post, thanks again!!
Sally J Freedman was my favorite Judy Blume! My parents had the same policy on reading. The only objections they ever had were to The Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley High (haha)--they thought they were too formulaic. But even then, they still let me read them. I probably read things "too old" for me, but I learned so much from the books and from my parents when I had to ask questions. I'm still grateful this was their policy. So many of those books are some of my favorite memories of being young and of being a reader.
Wow what a story! I am amazed by all the comments as well!
I had a somewhat similar experience with access to the public library and any book being ok to read. I think it’s probably because my immigrant mom and dad trusted the public library and books more than what TV or other media impressed upon kids of my generation in the 80s and 90s.
My parents got us a set of encyclopedias (not Brittanica) and of course I’d open the S volume and try to see what SEX IS! It wasn’t helpful at all. It came with a dictionary, the complete Shakespeare, Ben Franklin Autobiography, Arabian Nights, which I would like to say I read but was way too hard and dry. With it we also got a set of books “understating human behavior: an illustrated guide to successful human relationships.” Google image search first result for the cover of volume 1 of 20 something.
Thank you for sharing those memories, Dani. I would be interested in learning more about the diversity of experiences with reading access from first generation Americans like you. It's fascinating to me trace back our values to those of our parents to those of their parents...
By the way, you jarred some of my own vague memories of "encyclopedias" that randomly selected what the publishers thought were essential reading (were there ever any women authors, I wonder?) -- for me, I used to read the Random House Dictionary for fun, which was enormous. My favorite part was memorizing the Greek alphabet in the back. Good party trick when you're ten!
Oct 10, 2023·edited Oct 10, 2023Liked by Liz Gumbinner
My dictionary that was split in 2 volumes was, "A to oyster" and "oyster bed to zymurgy."
Every day my parents turned on radio korea LA, got the Korea Times laid out flat and read it while sitting on the carpet or a straw mat. The paper would later become packing material, cleanup rags, bacon splash guards, etc. We don't have anything nowadays that is bountiful to use like that, not even plastic grocery bags, which many cities are doing away with.
That was definitely a contributor of where my interest in following the news came from. Sometimes they'd try to share something with me, which was like the 80s version of sharing a link. There'd be a huge language barrier and they'd do their best to explain its significance.
We had access to LA Koreatown which had plenty of Korean bookstores, and my mom and dad would get whatever they want and us kids wouldn't be able to read well enough to know what it was! For me and my sister, it was school ordering through Scholastic from the 2 page flyer with a cut-out paper receipt and the check boxes to fill out the book to order. I remember asking carefully from my mom or dad, getting them to sign a paper check, and then the excitement of new books and new adventures coming 2 months after sending it all off in my classroom!
My parents did take us to the library a lot, and later on in the early 90s, I got hooked on comic books. I found some Calvin and Hobbes in the thrift stores, and now my daughter treasures those today. Also I read a ton of superhero comics. This all was fine with my mom and dad, and though they never said, I think they preferred that than getting Japanese comic books (given Korea and Japan's violent history together). It would slip into our entertainment diet from time to time, like watching original Japanese Power Rangers dubbed into Korean that we carried home in grocery bags from the video rental store in K-town.
Nowadays my mom and I are occasionally reading the same Korean novels and talking about them with what limited language skills that I have to express myself. We talked about Pachinko, Crying at H Mart, to name a few. It has been very comforting to have something to share with her like that when they probably wanted that for us all of our lives.
Sensational post Liz. You do have 2 amazing parents! And amazing children! And you are equally amazing! I love you so much and I will get involved. I will share this magnificent and important writing!
Thank you so much Amye!
First, this is a great post -- one of your best.
Second, we must have livd parallel lives! The rule in my family was, "You can read anything you want, listen to anything you want, and see anything you want. You just can't do anything." (That last bit may have been evaded.) My copy of Changing Bodies, Changing Lives (the teen-oriented version of Our Bodies, Ourselves) was read so thoroughly by my entire close friend group that the spine was broken in 4 or 5 places by the time I finished high school. The restricted book that my parents helped me fight for access to wasn't Forever, but Daddy Longlegs, which had been removed from my school library. The saga ended with me getting to meet Nat Hentoff and receiving a signed copy of his YA novel The Day They Came to Arrest the Book.
My BFF had a copy of Forever, which was also read by the whole friend group. I don't think that book fell apart, but we did crack the spine such that it automatically opened to page 151, the most exciting page in the edition.
I love that you have all these wonderful memories. All those well-read books with broken spines and author autographs paint a portrait of a wonderfully fortunate childhood. Thanks for sharing that, Liza!
It was indeed! Books were one of my main indulgences -- and still are!
What on earth would have prompted the removal of Daddy Longlegs?!!
RIGHT??? When I finally read it, I was absolutely confused, even as a 6th grader. Doesn't the protagonist eventually fall in love with her mysterious patron? That's a bit ick, but by then she was considered an adult, and it wasn't written salaciously.
Bravo, Liz…
Such a great post. I had to sneak read these books at friends’ but I spent most of my teen years in libraries making up for lost time.
Now where’s the fund to put The Hill We Climb on billboards all over Miami-Dade??
THAT is a fund I'd donate to! (Why don't you start it?)
Brava! Brilliant, Liz. My mom let me read anything as well. Certainly there times when something may not have been age appropriate but that didn’t matter. I’d like to think that early exposure to the world beyond my tiny Midwest town in a flyover state helped me the open minded person I am today.
Sounds like you had a great mom! But your comment begs the question, what is age appropriate? I have so many thoughts about that -- there are a lot of things we think will be traumatic/inappropriate for our kids, but aren’t. A topic hits differently when they just don’t have the life experience that we have. (Also, the reason my kids make fun of me for crying at basically every movie.)
Good point, Liz….I hadn’t even questioned the “age-appropriate” edict. I think what she was mainly concerned about was me reading about graphic sexual situations/encounters before I even knew what that was/meant. I could discuss anything under the sun (she practically begged us to) with her and, I’m speculating here, I think there were things that she was more comfortable talking about with us once we were older rather than at age 8.
Totally reasonable! I still remember having debates with my ex about whether they should be watching SpongeBob when they were five. Ha. We all have our concerns don’t we?.
Too funny. I was in the “he shouldn’t watch SB” camp until a conversation with a friend who was an elementary school principal about why she let her son watch SpongeBob. Her points were so good that I let my kid watch him, too. Of course, as soon as the previously forbidden show was available to him he barely ever wanted to watch it. LOL
Thus, we are back to the thesis of my piece.
My 6 yo loves Home Alone and every time we have watched it he says, “Don’t cry when his mom gets home!” And every time I still cry. I watched and read so many books that were about teenagers when I was 8-12 years old, we were always encouraged to ask questions and with tv/movies we all to watch together because we only had our living room tv. I learned about date rape from Felicity and my mom was very ready to talk at the end of that episode, my sister and I were in 5th grade. I looked it up and it was November so we were 11.
Sounds like you grew up with wonderful parents.
I just read your post, and was about rant a bit about my mother whose efforts to get me reading and interested in books at age 5; we began, and ended, that adventure with my unable to concentrate or be interested in books - that one anyway. She wasn't alone in not noticing my ADHD; it took 65 years for that to unfold, but that's another story ...
while writing, a newswire item came across my screen
"Tina Turner died"
And in conclusion ... neither Ike Turner, Ron Desantis, Florida library complainants can stop women and girls (boys and me too), poets and novelists, everyone with a pen or a soapbox. Kids and grandkids NEED influences and guidance. That should be about how to read and think vs. what to read and 'think my way'. Parents, qualified or not, will guide their children. That's not going to change much very quickly, and we don't need to worry. Banning books is a failed and stupid way shield children at an impressionable age. They'll find what they need and want to find, online or in a musty box in a basement.
All these laws and regulation are not found in human DNA.
And laws can't stop a thought, a curiosity, or a dream.
R.I.P. Tina Turner
Long live Amanda Gorman!
Cheers,
Mark
You’re right, it is failed and it is stupid. I wish it were only at an impressionable age though. Governors are now encroaching on what universities can teach. I hope everyone is watching very carefully. (and RIP to one of the greats.)
New reader here, and I LOVE this piece! I came from a similar family where my sisters and I read anything and everything we could get our hands on. I think part of what makes Gen X the way we are was our ability to jump from Are you There God, to Forever, to Flowers in the Attic, and back to Highlights magazines. I learned an appreciation for reading and discussed *most* things with my mom (and the rest with my older sisters). We all turned out okay. 🙂
What a fantastic perspective. I actually had a VC Andrews reference in here but that started taking things way off track. 🙃 i’m hoping our kids will have this in their own way, with their own media. In fact, I’m sure of it. Thank you so much for reading and commenting D!
My parents had the same philosophy raising my brother and me. They wanted us to read, to love reading. Nothing was off limits. If we could read the words, we could read the book. Friends had to hide their copies of Sweet Valley High, VC Andrews and Stephen King. My mothers didn’t bat an eye. If I had questions I knew to ask her or look it up in another book.
I wonder how many of these people who want books banned read Flowers in the Attic with a flashlight under the covers so their parent wouldn’t know. I bet a few.
Boy, would I love to know the answer to that question!
Right? I went to a Catholic high school after public elementary school. Let’s just say that the Catholic school kids weren’t as sheltered as their parents may have believed LOL! Locally I know many who were raised by parents who were much more tolerant than the kids are now as parents.
So true!
Important topic! I think context matters more than content. As a parent, that means having discussions that are nuanced. I have four kids and it is harder than I thought it’d be because each one is so different. I want to make information available, but I also don’t want to push stuff on them before they feel ready for it. And sometimes kids prefer information from someone other than the parent. I don’t take that personally. I just try to help them evaluate sources of information, make sure they know we’re available to talk, and periodically test the waters to see if they’re ready to discuss different topics.
Very wise. Perfect reason for there to be all kinds of books in school libraries. They will choose what they are interested in — and if they are interested in it, they should be able to find it.
100% agree. And school libraries are the most accessible for kids.
I love this so much! Kudos to your parents for not putting any limits on what you could read.
I grew up in Iran but went to an American school up until 3rd grade so English was my first written language. After the revolution when they closed all the American schools, my parents were dead set on making sure that I didn't forget my English, so I had private tutors and access to any English book I wanted to read (bought from super sketchy underground bookstores). Funny thing was my dad heavily monitored any Farsi book that I read, but never bothered about English books, which meant that I read some really wild books at a pretty young age (I'm looking at you Harold Robbins) 😂
I don't have kids but I feel very strongly that kids should have access to any book that they want to read, and these book bans in the US are a terrifying parallel to what most super conservative religious regimes across the world have done and are continuing to do.
I really appreciate you sharing this perspective. It must be very scary to see so many similarities to what you experienced firsthand and thought you had left behind. And thanks for the reminder that you 100% don’t have to have kids to care about their education. They are our future, as the song goes.
(And for me, it was Tom Robbins who was the first really “adult” author that blew my mind in high school. oof!)
I am de-lurking to tell you how much I love this post. It also feels fair to tell youbI found your Instagram through @Blurb and I love the pics of your life, so I kept coming back. And now I read your Substack. Thank you for writing this. I, too, grew up in a house where I was allowed to read anything I wanted to. Never had to ask, never had to explain. Judy Blume was and is one of literary heroes. I live in Florida, and the things going on here regarding schools and books is heartbreaking. I think it's important to have every type of reading material available to students, for lots of reasons, but 2 main ones:
1. I work with foster and adoptive families. It horrifies me to think that there are kids out there whose only exposure to books is what they come across in school. I would imagine for kids that are experiencing some pretty awful things at home, books might be an escape for some of those kids, in addition to showing so many different lives than the one they are living.
2. I think reading seriously impacts ignorance, and I don't mean that in a negative way. There are so many things we are innocently ignorant about: how other cultures live, what families of races other than our own go through, even the mundane stuff that we may have never thought of had it not been for reading (ironing a shirt: sprinkle some water in it, stick it in the fridge for roughly an hour, then iron. Learned that from a Robert Fulgum book). Whole entire worlds, right there at our fingertips!
3. Okay, I thought of a good last point: quick brag moment-in 1st grade, I had a 12th grade reading level. I DID NOT want to only read Dr. Seuss. I wanted ALL the words, and had it not been for our very well stocked public library, I may have become a very discouraged reader.
Thank you again for your words. I think you are amazing, and thank you for sharing your pictures of Brooklyn to this woman living in almost-rural Florida!
Tracy, thank you so much for reading. I am grateful for your comment -- what an essential reminder that there are a lot more reasons we need access to diverse books in schools. I’m also thinking about the kids for whom school is their one guaranteed safe zone each day, and now that feels shaky to them.
It’s horrible what the radical right is doing to vulnerable kids in the name of some misguided performative activism -- and book bans are just the tip.
Glad to have you here and feel free to delurk anytime. Keep fighting, Florida! 💪
I used to run up from my spooky basement too. The act of book banning gives a similar chill up my spine. It’s fear-based avoidance at its worst.
How I wish a FRAGMENT of this book banning energy went into PROBLEM SOLVING our broken education system and actually TEACHING KIDS HOW TO READ. It’s mind boggling what is deemed a problem when we have a literacy crisis barely anyone talks about.
Hi Lisa! Your comment made me think of this fascinating Valerie Strauss WaPo column about how "we do not see convincing evidence for a reading crisis," and that if we do want to support kids who need more help, a lot of it comes down to addressing poverty, hunger, and... (drumroll) elimination of school libraries. Good read.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2023/05/23/phonics-reading-analysis/
“Crisis” is loaded term, depending on the lens and which data is being pulled. One of my data points is personal experience of having a child who is not wired to learn with balanced literacy. And knowing there are countless struggling readers in my district with affluent parents filling in the gaps of poor methodologies via tutoring. My son did need explicit phonics instruction, and more. It’s ongoing. No beautiful library in our town (which we have) would have changed that. Though community support in all facets - food, safety, information access like LIBRARIES - IS essential!
Thanks for sharing that Lisa. It's true, there are so many different kids and different learners and shame on us if we can't find ways to better accommodate all of them.
Fundamental health and wellness is at stake. Had a front row seat on that one. There is so much opportunity to improve out there if we as a society can get out of our own way. The article you posted was well thought out but the author clearly never had personal experience with a struggling child told to “just try harder” when said child was giving all they had and then some. Parenting in this situation is all hands on deck. Then again, it should always be no matter what life throws at you. Xo
Thank you for this Lisa 💕
Her opt ed is fascinating
This post is, great 👍 and with cancel culture running amok these crazy days, also brave! As with your childhood, I was also allowed to READ anything that I could get my hands on (albeit if it involved a little help from an adult! 🤭) And if I got my hands on something I didn't comprehend, I had full access to the worn dictionary on my Mother's desk! I feel this was the single most important and helpful thing my parent's did for a maturing me. Not only intellectually (nothing builds vocabulary, comprehension or memory retention like reading, and starting YOUNG, as I'm sure you know), but also in assistance to the character building of the woman I am still becoming today. I am thankful to report that I am not "one of the sheeple" (as my amazing husband would say), and that through letting me read at my own discretion, my parent's gave me the avenue through which I eventually learned one of the top 3 that I have been terrified of figuring out how to teach my OWN SON since, well, conception.... How to trust in the basic goodness of humanity, yet still possessing the discernment to question everything and everyone. Awesome post, thanks again!!
brilliant, just brilliant.
❤️
Sally J Freedman was my favorite Judy Blume! My parents had the same policy on reading. The only objections they ever had were to The Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley High (haha)--they thought they were too formulaic. But even then, they still let me read them. I probably read things "too old" for me, but I learned so much from the books and from my parents when I had to ask questions. I'm still grateful this was their policy. So many of those books are some of my favorite memories of being young and of being a reader.
Sally J Freedman is wildly underrated. And I’m laughing at the idea of not being able to read books because they were not good enough for you!
Wow what a story! I am amazed by all the comments as well!
I had a somewhat similar experience with access to the public library and any book being ok to read. I think it’s probably because my immigrant mom and dad trusted the public library and books more than what TV or other media impressed upon kids of my generation in the 80s and 90s.
My parents got us a set of encyclopedias (not Brittanica) and of course I’d open the S volume and try to see what SEX IS! It wasn’t helpful at all. It came with a dictionary, the complete Shakespeare, Ben Franklin Autobiography, Arabian Nights, which I would like to say I read but was way too hard and dry. With it we also got a set of books “understating human behavior: an illustrated guide to successful human relationships.” Google image search first result for the cover of volume 1 of 20 something.
Thank you for sharing those memories, Dani. I would be interested in learning more about the diversity of experiences with reading access from first generation Americans like you. It's fascinating to me trace back our values to those of our parents to those of their parents...
By the way, you jarred some of my own vague memories of "encyclopedias" that randomly selected what the publishers thought were essential reading (were there ever any women authors, I wonder?) -- for me, I used to read the Random House Dictionary for fun, which was enormous. My favorite part was memorizing the Greek alphabet in the back. Good party trick when you're ten!
My dictionary that was split in 2 volumes was, "A to oyster" and "oyster bed to zymurgy."
Every day my parents turned on radio korea LA, got the Korea Times laid out flat and read it while sitting on the carpet or a straw mat. The paper would later become packing material, cleanup rags, bacon splash guards, etc. We don't have anything nowadays that is bountiful to use like that, not even plastic grocery bags, which many cities are doing away with.
That was definitely a contributor of where my interest in following the news came from. Sometimes they'd try to share something with me, which was like the 80s version of sharing a link. There'd be a huge language barrier and they'd do their best to explain its significance.
We had access to LA Koreatown which had plenty of Korean bookstores, and my mom and dad would get whatever they want and us kids wouldn't be able to read well enough to know what it was! For me and my sister, it was school ordering through Scholastic from the 2 page flyer with a cut-out paper receipt and the check boxes to fill out the book to order. I remember asking carefully from my mom or dad, getting them to sign a paper check, and then the excitement of new books and new adventures coming 2 months after sending it all off in my classroom!
My parents did take us to the library a lot, and later on in the early 90s, I got hooked on comic books. I found some Calvin and Hobbes in the thrift stores, and now my daughter treasures those today. Also I read a ton of superhero comics. This all was fine with my mom and dad, and though they never said, I think they preferred that than getting Japanese comic books (given Korea and Japan's violent history together). It would slip into our entertainment diet from time to time, like watching original Japanese Power Rangers dubbed into Korean that we carried home in grocery bags from the video rental store in K-town.
Nowadays my mom and I are occasionally reading the same Korean novels and talking about them with what limited language skills that I have to express myself. We talked about Pachinko, Crying at H Mart, to name a few. It has been very comforting to have something to share with her like that when they probably wanted that for us all of our lives.
This is wonderful! Thank you so so much for sharing this all, Dani! You should create a substack of your own.