I'm sharing this here because it's safe. Not many people in my family support me. I'm a foster parent. I adopted my son 2 years ago from foster care. He has a lot of needs, so my timeline is to wait to open my home back up for another 8-10 years or so. But when I do, I want to foster transgender kids. I want them to have a place that's safe and accepting. Right now, I have a social worker who I love that lets me know when non-binary kids come into the system, and I buy clothes and hygiene products for the kids. I wish I could take them in now, but like I said, my 4 year old currently has too many needs. One day, though, I will make this happen. I will be able to protect kids like Nex.
How can people like that exist without their heads exploding from the cognitive dissonance? I will never NEVER understand. To go to all the effort of hating on a kid. Just...NEVER šæ
I 100% respect your management of the trolls. I imagine you would have to do what you do to keep moving forward. Changing the script and making it about actions we can take feels empowering. You did that. You are teaching that and it's wonderful.
How can someone live with so much hate in their being and pour it out against a child who just wanted to live their life in the most comfortable way for them. I recently did a continuing education course for nurses and social workers about about Gender and Sexuality. I learned so much about how we develop in utero and what determines our sexuality. Our male and female body parts do not always coincide with what our sexuality is as we develop after birth. During the recent past much has been discovered scientifically which I would venture to say most people do not know...it is far from the simple beliefs that are quoted in the Bible. Those who condemned Nex should know that their God creates seriously complex human beings that their small mind and brain fails to comprehend...which led to their ignorance and hate of another child of their God.
I had an experience this week that your post fits right into.
I accepted a friend request from a man in Texas with whom I have a love of violins in common. He quickly liked all my posts about instruments I'm building. But then a meme from his page showed up on my feed making a joke about how when archeologists find bodies they label them male or female and none of the "700 made up things." I made a comment about sex and gender being different, and about context clues for found bodies, and past bias in science that I find related.
The man messaged me and said we should agree not to comment on each other's political posts. He wanted to just happily talk about violins. I told him to unfriend me, because as the parent of a trans-kid, I care about posts that contribute to an environment that makes my kid less safe. It's personal to me, and it's important. I wasn't going to censor myself on my own feed.
He was frustrated and annoyed, decried my hostility, and declared me too sensitive. He said he wasn't going to apologize for being a conservative. He said my unwillingness to follow his simple request is an example of why the country is divided. He said as a business woman I should do better. He unfriended me.
Which is good. But I'm still thinking about how there was no concern for my kid or my worries, and that I was supposed to "let him have his opinions" as he put it. He can have his opinions. But he can't have them unchallenged in my space. My scrolling past such a meme without comment is equivalent in my head to watching someone insult my kid and me just smiling and letting it go. What kind of parent would that make me?
When I see pictures of Nex and their sweet face, how can I not think of my own child? I'm so saddened and angry. I don't understand anyone who isn't.
Hey Liz... Thanks for being an ally and protecting this space for people like me, for kids like my son, and for all of the kids just like Nex who need safe spaces to exist. I know how hard this work is, and I appreciate you being part of it.
This breaks my heart! As a mom of a teenager who is struggling with "what people think about me" and is trying to "not feel" by exploring with stuff he shouldn't be. my heart goes out to this family and kiddo. UGH! people can be SO cruel it makes my stomach hurt!
Amen, Liz. Amen. Our neighbor, Jose Rolon, aka NYC Gay Dad, kids go to the local school . He is HILARIOUS and recognized nationally for raising awareness for LGBTQIA rights. He was just targeted on a right wing-nutās cable news show. This bible thumping idiot on whom irony utterly lost called for Jose to be investigated for child abuse. Itās this dangerous propaganda that puts LGBTQIA kids and adults at risk. But It is especially MIND BOGGLING to me how people think it is ok to pick on children! People fear and subsequently hate what they donāt understand. It is the ultimate hypocrisy and antithetical to the tenets of every major religion to lack empathy. GGGGRRRRRRRRR
Thank you, Liz (again) for speaking out. My oldest child is Nonbinary, struggled growing up but now is living on a coast with their partner but wants to move closer to home. They are missed by our loving family, and we'd love to have them (and partner) but we live in a purple dot in a red state. It's all hands on deck, good against evil stakes. Thanks for getting this ball rolling Liz. PS? I haven't forgotten the backyard shindig at Guy's house either...
Thank you for sharing Nexās story. Though I donāt understand everything about the trans spectrum, I am a firm believer that no one deserves hate or bullying and violence!
Liz - two little things in response tour big fulsome column; many years ago someone sent me a tip on how to deal with sniping critics. My friend KT said, "Type: fuck off you fat cow, and then delete it" ... and it's worked great for me. The other, in reaction to that point - Hurt People Hurt People is great. I'm borrowing that one! Keep up the great work. Cheers, Mark
I'm sharing this here because it's safe. Not many people in my family support me. I'm a foster parent. I adopted my son 2 years ago from foster care. He has a lot of needs, so my timeline is to wait to open my home back up for another 8-10 years or so. But when I do, I want to foster transgender kids. I want them to have a place that's safe and accepting. Right now, I have a social worker who I love that lets me know when non-binary kids come into the system, and I buy clothes and hygiene products for the kids. I wish I could take them in now, but like I said, my 4 year old currently has too many needs. One day, though, I will make this happen. I will be able to protect kids like Nex.
How can people like that exist without their heads exploding from the cognitive dissonance? I will never NEVER understand. To go to all the effort of hating on a kid. Just...NEVER šæ
I 100% respect your management of the trolls. I imagine you would have to do what you do to keep moving forward. Changing the script and making it about actions we can take feels empowering. You did that. You are teaching that and it's wonderful.
How can someone live with so much hate in their being and pour it out against a child who just wanted to live their life in the most comfortable way for them. I recently did a continuing education course for nurses and social workers about about Gender and Sexuality. I learned so much about how we develop in utero and what determines our sexuality. Our male and female body parts do not always coincide with what our sexuality is as we develop after birth. During the recent past much has been discovered scientifically which I would venture to say most people do not know...it is far from the simple beliefs that are quoted in the Bible. Those who condemned Nex should know that their God creates seriously complex human beings that their small mind and brain fails to comprehend...which led to their ignorance and hate of another child of their God.
Rest in Peace Nex sweet child.
I had an experience this week that your post fits right into.
I accepted a friend request from a man in Texas with whom I have a love of violins in common. He quickly liked all my posts about instruments I'm building. But then a meme from his page showed up on my feed making a joke about how when archeologists find bodies they label them male or female and none of the "700 made up things." I made a comment about sex and gender being different, and about context clues for found bodies, and past bias in science that I find related.
The man messaged me and said we should agree not to comment on each other's political posts. He wanted to just happily talk about violins. I told him to unfriend me, because as the parent of a trans-kid, I care about posts that contribute to an environment that makes my kid less safe. It's personal to me, and it's important. I wasn't going to censor myself on my own feed.
He was frustrated and annoyed, decried my hostility, and declared me too sensitive. He said he wasn't going to apologize for being a conservative. He said my unwillingness to follow his simple request is an example of why the country is divided. He said as a business woman I should do better. He unfriended me.
Which is good. But I'm still thinking about how there was no concern for my kid or my worries, and that I was supposed to "let him have his opinions" as he put it. He can have his opinions. But he can't have them unchallenged in my space. My scrolling past such a meme without comment is equivalent in my head to watching someone insult my kid and me just smiling and letting it go. What kind of parent would that make me?
When I see pictures of Nex and their sweet face, how can I not think of my own child? I'm so saddened and angry. I don't understand anyone who isn't.
Hey Liz... Thanks for being an ally and protecting this space for people like me, for kids like my son, and for all of the kids just like Nex who need safe spaces to exist. I know how hard this work is, and I appreciate you being part of it.
Trolls!!! š” āNuff sed
This breaks my heart! As a mom of a teenager who is struggling with "what people think about me" and is trying to "not feel" by exploring with stuff he shouldn't be. my heart goes out to this family and kiddo. UGH! people can be SO cruel it makes my stomach hurt!
Amen, Liz. Amen. Our neighbor, Jose Rolon, aka NYC Gay Dad, kids go to the local school . He is HILARIOUS and recognized nationally for raising awareness for LGBTQIA rights. He was just targeted on a right wing-nutās cable news show. This bible thumping idiot on whom irony utterly lost called for Jose to be investigated for child abuse. Itās this dangerous propaganda that puts LGBTQIA kids and adults at risk. But It is especially MIND BOGGLING to me how people think it is ok to pick on children! People fear and subsequently hate what they donāt understand. It is the ultimate hypocrisy and antithetical to the tenets of every major religion to lack empathy. GGGGRRRRRRRRR
Thank you, Liz (again) for speaking out. My oldest child is Nonbinary, struggled growing up but now is living on a coast with their partner but wants to move closer to home. They are missed by our loving family, and we'd love to have them (and partner) but we live in a purple dot in a red state. It's all hands on deck, good against evil stakes. Thanks for getting this ball rolling Liz. PS? I haven't forgotten the backyard shindig at Guy's house either...
#5 speaks to me the most.
Thank you for sharing Nexās story. Though I donāt understand everything about the trans spectrum, I am a firm believer that no one deserves hate or bullying and violence!
Liz - two little things in response tour big fulsome column; many years ago someone sent me a tip on how to deal with sniping critics. My friend KT said, "Type: fuck off you fat cow, and then delete it" ... and it's worked great for me. The other, in reaction to that point - Hurt People Hurt People is great. I'm borrowing that one! Keep up the great work. Cheers, Mark